In my previous post, I highlighted a triumphant financial moment: being able to pay off my first year of college in cash. Based on a synopsis of that post, some may wonder how someone who was so diligent with her money could be so foolish as to rack up over $14,000 in credit card debt. The short answer? I have no idea. I can pinpoint a few moments throughout college where I began to act financially irresponsible, but I’m not sure they account for the overall status of my finances. Or perhaps they do…
My college experience was much that of the typical middle-class student: I worked a few part-time jobs, I became a Resident Assistant to off-set room & board costs, I sought out paid internships, and I worked hard to get good grades in my classes. I was the stereotypical Type A busybody who threw herself into a myriad of activities, jobs, and situations that demanded a lot of my time. In addition to my professional and academic pursuits, I also somehow managed to have a pretty roaring social life. I certainly had my fair share of fun nights and weekends, but I was careful to never let the wild ways affect my jobs, academics, or finances. That was, until one fateful weekend when I experienced a deeply personal, challenging situation that would forever impact my existence on campus as well as plunge me into an emotional funk for quite some time.
During that time, I somehow managed to keep up with my coursework, but I also found myself acting completely out of character in terms of spending, among other things (I also began to flake out on work, eventually quitting all but one of my jobs even though the time commitments weren’t as much as they’d previously been). I also became a bona fide spendaholic; if I wanted it, I bought it. And for a while, it was easy to pay off the credit card bills because I had a decent internship income. However, slowly over time my spending eclipsed my earning. The first time I opened my credit card statement and saw a four-digit balance, I literally threw up. Ironically (and despite my physical response to the bill), I emotionally felt little stress or importance to pay it off completely. Worst yet, I continued to shop.
And so it began. My life as a saver and diligent money manager had been turned upside down. Looking back now, I know for a fact that it was some sort of depression that caused my funk and eventual financial shutdown. Unfortunately, it took quite some time to snap out of this and actually process what I had experienced. I effectively became very good at running away from situations instead of dealing with them head-on. If I only I knew then what I know now…
This post is part of my Confessions of a PF Blogger series. Other posts include:
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: The Series
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: No Happy Meal for You
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: $0.25 per Quart
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: 16 Candles
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: $5,500 in Cash
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: A Slow Slide into Credit Card Debt Hell
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: $1 to My Name
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: Homeless
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: Powerless
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: A Second Chance
